Finding Home
by Anderson Jenn
Summary: Everyone thought they knew what he needed: to meet his match and be beaten at his own game. What he discovered that he needed, however, was something much deeper. He knew it, she knew it. Hell, even Spock knew it. Kirk/OC. Mildly AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello friends. One of my friends asked me to write a Kirk/OC story that didn't feature a sassy, kick-ass woman who was female Kirk. She wanted someone very average in their everyday life, but very compassionate because that's what it takes to be compatible with the over-the-top James Kirk that we love so much.**

 **This will be short story, only about ten chapters or so, and will chronicle the friendship-turned-romance of our two main characters. The prologue takes place between the first and second movie. The first couple chapters take place in the first few years of Kirk being at Starfleet Academy, and then the main part of the story takes place after** _ **Into Darkness**_ **.**

 **Without further ado, here is the prologue!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or any of its characters.**

Sometimes, he didn't need what everyone thought he needed.

Bones always said he needed someone who could match his wit and intellect, and someone that could put him in his place. This appeared to be what everyone else thought as well; that he needed a challenge, a fight, and that it would come the form of some feisty, curvy girl who had just as much a desire for sex as he did. Maybe that's why he sought out those kinds of women; it was what everyone expected.

"Was your mother not that kind of woman?" Spock asked when Kirk relayed all this to him over a game of chess. He needed to talk about his love life—or lack there-of—to someone practically. Bones told him the same thing every time, and Uhura told him the same thing Bones did. Since Spock was basically his 'best friend' he was clearly the best option. Spock didn't hold back.

"What?" Kirk frowned in confusion—he did not like being confused. "What do you mean?"

"From what you've relayed to me of your mother," Spock spoke with measured words. "She seems as if she is rather feisty and witty, and was fond of putting you in your place."

"Yeah." Kirk couldn't deny it. "But it never made me happy. She also left me, and I have no idea where she is now. The woman lost it after my father died."

"Perhaps, this is why you think you need someone who could battle your wit," Spock shrugged casually—a strange sight to Kirk. "You find a challenge in these woman, a conquest in being with them, but you do not see any of them in a long term manner."

"Well..." Kirk trailed off. "I guess you're right, Spocky. You may have hit something there."

"What did you call me?"

"Calm down, bud, it's just a nickname," Kirk waved it off. He made a final move. "Check mate. Gotta go!"

Spock nodded in understanding. "Tell her I said hello."

Kirk felt a brotherly affection in his heart that Spock knew exactly where he was headed (or more specifically, _who_ he was headed to) to receive emotional comfort. It made him realize he and his First Commander were closer than he thought.

When he arrived at his destination, a door was swung wide open. "Captain Kirk! Is everything alright?"

"I'm lonely?" he offered with his trade mark smirk. "Give a friend a warm couch...or bed...to sleep on for the night?"

"James," she blushed shyly, stepping back from the doorway. "You know you're always welcome here."

"On the couch or the bed?"

Cordelia blushed. "You know the answer to that, Jamie. Come on, I'm watching TV. You can join me if you like."

As Kirk walked casually into the apartment he knew all too well, a warm feeling developed in his heart that had nothing to do with Spock's brotherly affection or the heat of the fake fireplace in Cordelia's apartment. This was where he was comfortable...this was where he belonged.


	2. Chapter 2

**Soooo, here we are with the first couple chapters. It's kind of slow moving at first, but it picks up soon.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek**

"I can't do this!"

"Of course you can," Cordelia soothed her friend. "It's completely possible."

Christine glared at her. "I'm going to be a nurse. Why do I even need this class? Languages aren't that big of a deal."

"Seriously?" Uhura said. Her dark brown eyes were fixed on Christine in offense, her chocolate skin darkening a bit at her cheek. She was most likely hurt that Christine constantly mocked her focus of study. "Do you want to take care of people or aliens that you can't understand?"

"I bet things were so much easier in the old days," Ginger sighed. She combed her blonde curls out of her face in irritation. "In the way, way back, nurses and doctors had to learn Spanish or French, and that was it."

"Yeah, well, they were nursing world-wide, not galaxy-wide," Mina popped in the conversation. The brunette girl peeked her green eyes over the top of her engineering notebook. "There is way more to learn."

"Just focus on the fact that you don't have to learn Kling-On," Cordelia suggested. "We are in much simpler languages than Uhura will be learning."

"True," Uhura smiled proudly.

"Ugh!" Christine groaned, flopping back onto the couch. She received strange looks from people, but didn't seem to care. "Fine. What are we on, now? Vulcan?"

"My favorite!" Uhura grinned widely.

"Because of the language," Ginger smirked. "And the culture. And the men."

"Oh shut up," Uhura picked up her flash cards. "Don't be so immature."

"He is _fine_ , there is no denying—

"Who's fine?" a voice said from behind Cordelia. "Speaking of me, ladies?"

Uhura, Ginger, and Christine exchanged irritated looks. The former's eyes narrowed to slits. "Back off, Kirk."

"Just came to see this group of lovely young ladies," the man in question came into Cordelia's sight. She felt her breath catch in her throat when he sent her a piercing look. "I don't believe we've met before."

"Don't do it, Kirk," a deeper voice with a southern drawl said. Cordelia recognized that one and smiled at Leonard McCoy when he appeared. "Cordelia isn't to be messed with."

"Cordelia?" Kirk smirked, sounding almost impressed. "Her name is almost as old fashioned as mine. James Tiberius Kirk, pleasure to meet you."

He offered a hand. Slowly, Cordelia handed him hers, shocked to the core when he kissed her knuckles instead of shaking it. "It's lovely to meet you as well."

James Tiberius Kirk was incredibly handsome. He had tousled blonde hair, eyes bluer than the San Francisco sky, and a strong jaw that was defined with every word he spoke. Cordelia found herself flustered by the feeling of his rough hand around her much smaller one, and struggled to focus. She may not have been a plain girl, but with friends like Uhura and Mina, eyes weren't drawn to her immediately. The fact that this James called her out made her even more uncomfortable than she was used to.

"You're a quiet one," James said. "How long have you been at StarFleet?"

"Two years," she said nervously. "I'm a nursing major."

"Ahh, same as Christine," Kirk smiled. "You know, I think we should get to know each other."

"Oh."

"I was thinking tomorrow night, there's this costume party..."

"No, Kirk!" three voices chorused.

"We can all go to the party," Leonard said. He shared a look with Cordelia that instantly made her agree. Leonard was like an intimidating older brother that you couldn't help but listen to.

"That would be fun!" Christine chimed in, clapping her hands. "We haven't been to a party in a while, our exams for the year end tomorrow...it'll be fun!"

"Fun," Uhura said dryly. "Right."

"Sounds great," James grinned, not in the least bit bothered by his friend hijacking his plans. "Remember, it's all about swing dancing. Someone came up with the brilliant idea to do it from the classic 1920's."

The small group spent the next thirty minutes chatting. Uhura and James preferred to throw insults back and forth, but it had an underlying tone of friendliness. The others were quite amiable, despite the fact that Cordelia was quiet. She kept to herself as always, only speaking when someone said something to her.

After a particularly funny story from James involving Leanord being quite drunk and trying to hit on several girls using the divorced trick, Cordelia realized what time it was. She lightly laid a hand on Mina's arm. "It's eight o'clock."

"Crap!" Mina exclaimed. "We've got to get back to studying! You boys have to leave."

"I'm hurt, Minnie," James pouted. "You want me to leave?"

"We have to _study_ ," Ginger put emphasis on the last word.

"But we were having fun," he pressed. "Cordie, back me up, here!"

"I'm afraid that I can't," she answered softly. "I can't afford to not pass this test."

Before James could argue, Leonard grabbed him by the collar and hoisted him up. Cordelia giggled at the pleading look on his face. He stopped his dramatics a moment later and winked, making Cordelia blush. "See you later, Cordie."

"Right," Ginger said when they left. "Where were we? Vulcan?"

That night, Cordelia found it quite difficult to keep her mind focused. James Tiberius Kirk was a very strange, very interesting man, and Cordelia felt that she would be spending some time figuring out just how interesting he truly was.


	3. Chapter 3

**I hope you guys are enjoying it. Let me know what you think!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek in any kind of way**

Cordelia examined herself in the mirror. She felt a fluttering in her stomach that made her want to stay home and not go to this party at all. Despite that, she convinced herself she looked pretty and was going to have a good time.

She wasn't an absolute stunner like Uhura or Mina, or even the blonde beauty Christine. She was still pretty though, in a very classic way. She had Cupid's bow lips that were slightly plump, but not too dramatically like Mina's were. Her eyes were round and brown, which generally gave her a very innocent look. The figure she'd gotten from her mother wasn't too curvy, but just enough to make her feel womanly. At average height, Cordelia thought herself generally attractive.

For the night, she wore a silver flapper dress that made her copper hair look quite nice. That hair was pulled back and crimped in the old fashioned way. White and black feathers came from a headband that made her feel extremely fancy, as did the long white gloves and strands of pearls draped around her neck. The costume was honestly exhilarating to her; she didn't often do things out of her comfort zone, but this was definitely way out of that.

"You look gorgeous, Delia," Uhura beamed from where she touched up her make up. "I've never seen you so scantily clad."

"It's exciting," Cordelia giggled. "You look absolutely hot, by the way."

"Thanks," Uhura grinned. "I think I need more feathers though."

"Girls!" Ginger called from the bathroom. "Where is my hot pink lipstick?!"

Mina, who was draped lazily across the bed, groaned. "She and Christine are going to be at it all night because of that damned lipstick again."

Christine appeared in the doorway of Ginger's room. "Ready to go ladies?"

"Where's the lipstick?" Ginger popped out of the bathroom. She eyed Christine, the glare worthy of death. In turn, Christine immediately took on a defensive stance. "You can explain to me why you stole my effing lipstick on the train." Uhura, Mina, and Cordelia exchanged looks, all slightly terrified. This never ended well.

Sure enough, twenty minutes later, Cordelia was feeling her nerves grate at the sounds of their bickering. As the small group of girls arrived just outside the club, she just couldn't handle it anymore and snapped. "Would you two shut the hell up?!"

Her friends stared in shock.

"Wow," a voice laughed. "Didn't know you had it in you, Cordie."

"I'm sorry," Cordelia blushed at the sight of James Kirk, who appeared to be waiting for them with Leonard. "Tonight is supposed to be fun, is all. No fighting over silly stuff."

"Sounds wonderful," Mina smiled, taking Cordelia's hand. "Now, I hear music. You and me on the dance floor, girlie. I hope you know how to swing."

Cordelia rarely had as fun much as she did that night. She danced her feet off with the other girls and Leonard, but couldn't find it within herself to dance with James. Whenever he was near, her mind swirled and her heart raced. She knew of his reputation and knew to avoid it. Cordelia was a smart girl.

"Cordie," James said late into the night. He'd approached her at the bar with a flirty smile on his face. "You have been avoiding me! Don't make me chase after you, beautiful."

"I don't want to be chased," she said softly. "And I know what happens when you chase women."

"Oh come on..."

"I'm quiet," she looked up at him. "And I'm nice, but I don't like to be screwed with and I won't let that happen."

James opened his mouth to speak, then shut it abruptly. His piercing blue eyes that made her entirely too unfocused set themselves on her firmly. "I like you, Cordelia. What do you say you dance with me during this lovely slow song, get to know me, and be my friend. I think you and I can have a good time...as friends, of course."

"Well..."

"Don't think, Cordie," he winked. " _Lighten up_. Befriend someone who will make you insane."

She looked up at him through her eyelashes. "Well, I am friends with Ginger. I know plenty about insane friends already…so I guess I can handle you."

"Thatta girl!" James grinned, grabbing her hand. He set both of their drinks down on the bar and tugged her towards the dance floor. They chatted for a bit, making casual small talk fit for colleagues until James pouted.

"Seriously, woman," he groaned.

"I'm trying," Cordelia informed him. "I'm not used to having guy friends like you. Leonard and Professor Spock are a lot different than you. Even Sulu isn't as outgoing and...strange."

"Good thing or bad thing?"

"Good thing."

"So...friends, oh Shy One?"

Cordelia gave in with a roll of her eyes. "Friends."

 **)-(**

Cordelia was in the middle of doing her yoga when someone burst into her room. Thinking it was either Ginger or her other roommate, Tanga, she ignored them.

"Cordie!"

Definitely not Tanga or Ginger. She should've remembered that by now, James had no boundaries.

"Yes?" she spoke, not moving from her position.

"I was coming back from Mara's room when I real—" his speech cut off abruptly, and Cordelia imagined that he realized her position. Currently, she had her left leg curled back, held by her right hand, with her left hand extended towards the ceiling, head turned up. "You have _incredible_ balance."

"Thank you," she blushed, finally opening her eyes. Cordelia uncurled herself and faced James to find him in a t-shirt and jeans. Despite being friends for a year, she never failed to be surprised by his handsome features and casual sex appeal. "What's up?"

"We haven't hung out, just the two of us, in like three weeks," he said.

"Well, I'm busy with my new job and you've got a test to prepare for," she shrugged.

"The Kobayashi Maru? Nah, I've got that in the bag," he waved it off. "What's important is that we try this new sushi place I found."

"James."

"It's got the absolute best lobster roll in San Francisco, you really need to try it."

"James."

"Also, they're saki is liquid love, I mean—

"James."

He looked offended that his very important discussion was being cut off. "What?"

"You've done something to the test, haven't you?" she asked with a shake of her head.

"Well, not exactly to the test..."

"Did Mina help?"

"Oh no," James leaned back into the couch with a proud grin. "I remember everything she taught me. I did it by myself."

"You can't win that test, Jamie," Cordelia sighed. She collapsed onto the couch next to him, not commenting when he moved his head to her lap. She just tangled her fingers in his hair. "It's designed so that you fail, and experience—

"You sound like Bones," he said in exasperation. "It's stupid that it's designed to do that."

Cordelia didn't respond. She learned that you couldn't make James do anything, no matter how hard you tried. He was entirely too stubborn. She saw when people thought they could change him, make him become someone he wasn't. Honestly, all you had to do was sit back and watch. James would figure it out for himself, even if he had to fall on his face first.

And his butt, and his back, and his leg, and every other body part. He always got it in the end.

"How does it feel to be a nurse?" he changed subject. "Are you excited to be put on a crew soon?"

"I am," she said. "I'm excited to move out of StarFleet headquarters and get my own apartment, I'm excited to be part of a team and go on missions...I'm excited for life to begin."

"I hope we get assigned the same ship," James said thoughtfully. "I can't go a day without bothering the crap out of you. My life would be so boring."

"But you'll probably get paired with Bones and you love pushing his buttons almost as much as mine," she told him affectionately. Her eyes turned serious. "And even if our little group gets separated, it'll be alright. We won't always be gone, and there's always plenty of training to be done."

"Don't be so serious, Cordie," James shook his head. "Just for a second, imagine all of us, raising hell on the Enterprise."

"That's Pike's new ship," Cordelia pointed out calmly.

"He'll get over it," he replied. "Pike gets me. I graduated in three years with all of you, I'll get my own ship in another few..."

"But—

"Let me dream, baby, let me dream."

She kept her mouth shut and continued to play with his hair as he rambled on about his day. James always came to her when he was wound up about something and needed to relax. Sometimes he told her, sometimes he didn't. Whatever it was, she didn't press. She just continued to run her fingers through his hair and listen to rambling nonsense.

"Look at life as an adventure," he said with a grin. "Something that you can look forward to, you can control. Then the future isn't so scary, you know?"

"Why, James," she said. "That was very wise."

"Yes, but..."

"Hmm?"

"Do you have to call me James?"


	4. Chapter 4

**This picks up towards the end of Into the Darkness, when Khan's ship crashes into Starfleet. From here on is the main plot of the story, which won't be too long, but still. :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek**

Cordelia didn't know what true panic was until she looked into the sky and saw a large black ship crashing down. It gave her spine an uncomfortable, tingly feeling as she watched it crash into StarFleet. Knowing her best friends were in there, she panicked and immediately threw on a real shirt. Scrambling to find shoes, she shoved her StarFleet boots on and ran like she never had, thinking on how her day was most certainly not supposed to go like this.

She'd woken up like any other day. The sun had bathed her in warmth that slowly drew her from her slumber. Cordelia loved waking up that way, almost as she loved waking up to the sound of rain. True, she sounded like someone from a cheesy romance novel, but it she loved the warm glow she felt as she came out of drowsiness.

She also loved cheesy romance novels, so it was fitting.

Cordelia didn't have much she didn't like. This normally made her a cheery person. Of course, it wasn't something her roommates always appreciated in the morning. Even when she was worried about something or slightly sad, she made sure to not be too grumpy. It had posed as a problem when she got an apartment with Mina and Ginger after graduation, but she never faltered in staying happy and upbeat—despite her roommates' near-homicidal feelings.

"Oh my god, Delia!" Mina exclaimed that morning. "Would you wipe that look off your face?"

"I'm sorry," Cordelia said automatically, sincere as can be. "Am I smiling? I was trying not to."

"No, you weren't smiling" Ginger groaned, coming into the kitchen. "You're just not grumpy, and it's inhuman."

Cordelia didn't answer. She simply shrugged again and sent an apologetic look to both of her anti-morning friends. She made them coffee, just the way they liked it, and even got milk to steam so she could make cappuccinos. Mina came up to her and gave a lazy, but loving hug. "You're an angel, babe."

"Just trying to help," Cordelia rubbed her back in return. "It's my day off, and I want to keep busy, so I'll start my day like that."

"Can't take care of people at the hospital, take care of people at home," Ginger snorted. "You are too sweet, honey."

Cordelia smiled in thanks. Ginger got to work preparing bagels and cream cheese for everyone, while Mina snagged first shower. It was their usual routine, and all three liked the comfort of it. As Ginger, the writer of the three, said, "In a world uncertainty, there's a certain comfort in the certainty of morning rituals." It was cheesy and wordy, but they'd taken to quoting it at each other.

"Have you spoken to Kirk since he left?" Ginger asked. "I know Pike was like father to him, it must have hit hard when he was killed."

"No," Cordelia spoke a little more softly. Not wanting to betray James' confidence, she didn't confide in her friend about the dangerous, possibly illegal mission. All she knew was that he was seeking vengeance. The look in his eyes when he'd stopped by...

 _"Pike's dead," he whispered._

 _"Oh Jamie," she said softly, taking him in her arms. He barely held her there before pulling away, a fierce look his in his eyes. "I heard about the attack. Who was it?"_

 _"John Harrison," James spat the name. "I came here to tell you that Marcus is sending me on a slightly illegal mission. I'll technically be going rouge, however, since it's not a StarFleet mission."_

 _"Why does it have to be illegal?" Cordelia frowned._

 _His eyes flashed again. "Because I'm going to kill the bastard."_

She shivered. James was in pain, so naturally, James was very angry.

"We haven't talked much recently," Cordelia told her. "So I'm not really sure what's happening. Ever since he became captain, he doesn't really need me. Girls are all over him."

"Oh sweetie," Ginger frowned. "You know it's not like that. He doesn't actually have feelings for girls, he's too married to his ship."

Cordelia just nodded, but she knew better. James was a good man, with a strong moral compass (which is why she didn't believe he could actually kill a man). He didn't sleep with women who didn't know what they were getting into—unless they were some type of challenge, but that had lessened greatly in his few years as Captain.

He really was a man who had a lot of feelings. His romantic ones just weren't always shown. Cordelia suspected it was from his bad experience with his mother. James wasn't unfeeling when it came to women, he was simply guarded.

"You know your relationship is a little weird, right?" Ginger went on. As Mina walked in, she passed out plates.

Cordelia passed out coffee. "Well, it's not uncommon. And it's not a relationship. We're friends. I just put up with his antics, give him advice, and provide him with company when he feels lonely. We like being friends, it works."

"Yes," Mina shook her head. "He makes you more adventurous, you make him more chilled out. You two are so...right, it's weird."

"As friends," Cordelia reiterated. "James can't confuse his friends that are girls with his girlfriends. Uhura, Christine, you two, and I are his friends, and he doesn't want to jeopardize that. With any of us."

"But you two are different," Ginger pushed.

"Guys," Cordelia said softly, looking down at her plate. "I don't feel like having this conversation. I never do. Can we move on?"

"Right," Mina smiled. Ginger looked like she wanted to argue, but Mina silenced her with a look. "Why are you up so early on your day off?"

"I wanted to get a start on the day," Cordelia said. "I think I'll do yoga, read a book, and take a nap. From there, I'm not sure."

"That's the best way to go," Ginger grinned. "Naps are life."

Mina shook her head. "Since you won't be sleeping, are you going to lecture?"

"Yep," she said. "Since Spock's been gone, I've been doing his classes at the Academy for the past few days on Vulcan history. Today though, the class is taking a trip to StarFleet headquarters. Spock left notes about it, saying something like he wanted them to experience it personally, see how different species need to understand each other to work in StarFleet, things like that."

"How are he and Uhura doing?" Mina asked.

"Well..." Cordelia shrugged. "She's still upset that he was trying to get himself killed to protect that planet, but I pointed out to her that it actually made sense to him. She seemed a little better, but you know how she is."

"She'll come around," Ginger assured her. "Spock means a lot to her, and I think he's in love with her. She'll probably see that."

"True," Cordelia agreed. She picked at her bagel. "Mina?"

"Working in the labs," the girl replied. "Scottie and I are trying to develop some type of shielding device. The goal is to have it project in front of a person, or maybe multiple people. Kind of like what we have in the ships, but something to carry on your person. Kirk left me here to work on it. He thinks we're going to be sent on this five year mission."

"He wants to take me on as historian," Ginger pointed out. "Kirk's thinking big."

"He wants to take me on as well," Cordelia smiled. "James is very intent on all of us staying together. Especially you and Sulu."

Ginger blushed. "I saw him the other night. He didn't know what was happening about this mission either, so he wanted to say goodbye in case."

"Can I be your maid of honor?" Mina asked. "You can get married before we go off into space."

"If he proposes, I don't think I'd turn him down," Ginger shrugged. "We love each other, and I can't see myself with anyone else."

"Good," Mina grinned. "Now, on that romantic note, you need to get your nasty-self showered."

"Thanks," Ginger said dryly. "You know, I thought moving in with you guys after the Academy would be a good idea, but you're awfully mean."

"Much love."

The girls separated after their morning routine was finished. Ginger and Mina headed off to work, while Cordelia began her yoga for the day. She loved to do it in the living room, by the large glass window that served as one of the walls. It let in tons of light and gave a very nice of San Francisco. Cordelia normally said it was the whole reason why she was so calm—doing yoga as the sun was rising had a spectacular effect on you.

After yoga, she hopped in the shower quickly. After she got out, she did her nails and put on her favorite leggings and a tank top to relax in while reading a book. Her day was going quite well.

That was when all hell broke loose.

She sat in bed, reading her book, when a massive black ship could be seen from her large window. Quickly, Cordelia left her room to see a little better from her living room, a cold feeling sinking into her stomach as it headed to StarFleet. Honestly, she felt the impact more clearly than she saw it. Her apartment building was rocked as she fell to the ground, terror swelling in her throat. Quickly, she scrambled for a shirt and shoes. The thought of the gigantic ship crashing into StarFleet unnerved her. Were Ginger and Mina alright? What about all the other people at StarFleet?

It couldn't be good.

She left the building easily. While most people ran away from the crash site, she ran towards it. The heart in Cordelia's chest pounded to the beat of her footsteps as they pounded against the pavement. She had to remind herself to calm down and not have a stress related heart attack, trying to control her breathing.

As she approached the crash, Cordelia didn't know what to do. There was a confusing mess of people, including many injured, so she figured she would get to work. Two burly men nearby looked like they wanted to help.

"You two!" Cordelia shouted at them. They snapped their heads to look at her. "See that group of people at the south end of the ship? Follow me, I'm gonna need you to move some stuff!" For God knows how long, she instructed civilians on how to help her get people out of the way and protect people couldn't be moved. As the Emergency Care appeared, they surprisingly followed her orders and asked what she needed. Once she had supplies, she began taking care of people best she could with her training.

It was all a blur, up until a dreaded moment she wished she never had to experience again.

"Miss!" an emergency care nurse called, carrying a woman in his arms. This man next to him did as well. "We've found these girls and a group of academy kids on the other side of the ship. Where do they go?"

"Injuries?"

"Haven't checked."

Cordelia hurried to the first one and flipped a mass of strawberry blonde curls from the person's face, her stomach dropping at the sight of familiar half-open blue eyes.

Ginger.

"She still has a heartbeat," Cordelia's stomach turned as she checked. "You save her, _now!_ "

She looked to the other girl in the man's arms. Fear struck her and almost held her back from moving straight brown hair out of the way. She didn't want to know the answer, especially as blood had stopped coming from a head wound, most likely meaning she was gone. Her smooth skin was cold and her limbs semi-stiff. Slowly, Cordelia brushed back the hair to reveal the face.

 _Mina._

Carefully, she checked for a heartbeat.

 _Nothing_.

Cordelia checked for any sign of life possible.

 _Nothing._

"Set her down," Cordelia said shakily. "I-I can't...well, come with me to the other girls."

"Ma'am?" the man said. "Are you alright?"

"No," she choked out. "Now come on! Put her with the dead. She can't be helped."

"Did you know her?"

She didn't reply at first. There was a moment when her heart simply broke, so she walked away, calling out orders in the strongest voice she could manage. Soon, she found piece of rubble that shielded the rest of the world away, even if for a few moments.

And there, Cordelia cried.

 _Cordelia was swiftly knocked off her feet, books flying everywhere and a small scream coming from her lips._

 _"I am so sorry!" someone cried, offering a hand. Cordelia looked up into gleaming green eyes. The girl sniffled. "Are you alright?"_

 _"I'm fine," Cordelia promised. "Are...are you?"_

 _The girl wiped tears from eyes and ran her fingers through tousled brown hair. "I don't really know. My boyfriend of six years just dumped me, so I guess not."_

 _"I'm sorry," Cordelia crouched. Together, the two girls gathered their books. "Is there anything I can do to help?"_

 _"Um," the green eyed girl frowned. "Are you human? Because we're totally strangers, and you are uncommonly nice."_

 _"I've been dumped before," she shrugged. "I understand the feeling of it. I can't imagine six years..."_

 _"I'm Mina," the girl said abruptly, offering a hand. "And you can do something for me. You can be my best friend."_

 _"I've never really had a best friend," Cordelia chuckled. "But I'll try my best. I'm Cordelia."_

 _"Lovely to meet you, Cordelia," Mina beamed through her drying tears. "I hope you're not a serial killer."_

Cordelia felt the grief striking her heart, as if she'd somehow failed her best friend. Rising from her little protected area, she found her way to Ginger. The girl coughed a little blood, reaching for Cordelia.

"Delia," she croaked. "Where's Mina? Where's...Mina..."

Cordelia didn't have the heart to say that their best friend was dead.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek**

Cordelia was exhausted.

The hospital refused to let her work, and she realized they were right to do that. She was too tired to function, after ordering people around until the officials really took over that night. They were able to get survivors to the hospital, and the dead to be buried by morning. Compared to what it could've been, the death toll wasn't too terrible, but Cordelia felt it deeply. She was both emotionally and physically too tired to function.

After getting dismissed for medical and emotional leave, Cordelia discovered that Ginger was still in a coma. When she found Leonard in the hospital, he told her that James was also in a coma, but Leonard said wasn't allowed in to see him quite yet. So, she spent her time after being dismissed getting food and going to the waiting room where Sulu awaited news of his girlfriend. He sat hunched over in a chair, still wearing a singed StarFleet uniform, his face covered in grime and dried blood. Other than his initial disheveled appearance, he seemed physically fine.

"How are you doing?" Sulu asked when Cordelia approached, carrying coffee and biscuits.

"Better," she replied softly. "I told Scotty a few hours ago about Mina."

"He always poked fun and called her his daughter," Sulu sighed sadly. "He must've been torn up."

"He's been in the labs since I told him, working on their formula for the shielding device."

"Of course he has. I assume he isn't going to be easy to pull away."

"You would assume correctly."

"Excuse me?"

Sulu and Cordelia looked to see Leonard in front of them. The former stood immediately. "How does it look?"

"She got a hard hit to the head," Leonard came closer hesitantly. "We ran some tests, and everything else is fine. It's just the head injury."

"There's something else, isn't there?" Sulu crossed his arms. "What is it?"

"Ginger, she's..." Leonard handed Cordelia his clipboard hesitantly. "She's pregnant."

Cordelia looked at her charts and x-rays. He was right; for the head injury, they had managed to get the internal bleeding to stop, but wouldn't know much else until she woke up. Her heart was in good condition, there were no broken bones, and she had a healthy fetus growing.

"I don't believe this," she whispered. "Ginger..."

"Would be thrilled," Sulu whispered. He sat back down shakily, a hand coming to cover his mouth. Tears sprung forth. "She would be so excited."

"She's six weeks," Cordelia told him, blinking back her own tears. Part of her felt guilt that her sadness for Mina's death was being overpowered by joy at the thought of a baby—if Ginger woke up.

"What happens if she doesn't wake up?" Sulu frowned.

"We'll keep her in a coma, alive enough to keep the baby growing," Leonard said. "After we deliver the baby, who knows what her body will do. The brain and delivery are both very risky areas."

Cordelia sat next to Sulu, offering her hand to hold. He took it and kept his head down. Rubbing his back with her other hand, she looked back to Leonard. "And James? How is he?"

"Jim'll be fine," Leonard assured her. "He's going to be sleeping a lot, but his cells are restored to health."

She let out a breath of relief. "Is everyone else alright?"

"They're on their way," he told her. "I'm gonna go check on my other patients, but I'll be back soon."

Cordelia set her head on Sulu's shoulder. "How will we tell Ginger?"

"I don't know," Sulu replied. "I just don't know."

When Uhura and Christine made it, followed soon by Spock, Cordelia held Uhura as she crumpled into sobs. She fought back her own tears as the dark girl's sobs shook both their bodies. Something in Cordelia tried to break free and cry, but she refused to while she soothed Uhura, who eventually sought comfort in Spock's embrace.

When Cordelia and Christine embraced, both cried silently. The two nurses leaned on each other for support, Christine letting her tears simply drip down her face. It was somehow more moving to see the silent grief, and Cordelia watched as people turned away to give them a moment to grieve Mina silently.

At least, until Spock approached them. "I apologize, Christine, but may I speak with Cordelia?"

"Of course," Christine said softly. She withdrew from Cordelia's arms and went straight to Uhura's. Looking at the half-Vulcan, Cordelia rose from her seat and followed him.

The two had a peculiar relationship. She'd kept the relationship between him and Uhura quiet after catching them kissing in his office. He grew to appreciate her respectfulness of his culture and preference to withhold emotions, while she found his logic or silence refreshing when their group became too much. While Spock and Ginger shared an intellectual relationship, he and Cordelia shared a silent understanding.

"Yes?" Cordelia said to him.

"How are you faring?"

"I'm sad," Cordelia bit her lip. "But I will not let it consume me."

"Because of your brother, and you do not wish to follow in his footsteps to suicide?"

"Yes," Cordelia nodded. "Did James tell you about Michael?"

"Jim may have informed me," he replied slowly. "Out of concern on his death day."

"And you wished to check on me." Cordelia understood. "Thank you, Spock. You're a good friend."

A small smile played on his lips. "I'm beginning to understand what that is."

Cordelia smiled back, still attempting to blink her tears away. Spock frowned before lowering his voice. "Stop worrying about others, Cordelia. You must grieve yourself."

"I did," Cordelia wiped her tears away. "But everyone grieves differently."

He clasped his hands in front of him. "You wish for others to be taken care of; this is how you grieve."

"Yes," she whispered, barely getting the word out. They stood in companionable silence for a few moments, him letting Cordelia gather her thoughts. "I want him to be awake, Spock. I need James to comfort me. Is that selfish?"

"Truthfully, it is slightly selfish," he replied. It comforted her that Spock knew her feelings wouldn't get hurt. "Yet at the moment, I cannot say that I disapprove. He finds comfort in you, you find comfort in him. As you seek comfort, it is only logical that you wish for his presence."

"Thank you for being honest."

"Always."

They stood awhile longer, once again in silence. Cordelia leaned against the wall. Spock stood beside her, emotions in check. She saw, however, the tension in his shoulders and the tightness of his lips as they quirked down. Spock was worried for his friends.

"Is it not difficult to take care of others when you are exhausted?" Spock asked out of the blue (though truthfully, nothing he said was put of the blue, as Spock always thought before he spoke). Cordelia simply nodded. "Then should you not go home, sleep, shower, and eat? It's the logical choice, so that you may better care for others."

"You're right, as usual," Cordelia admitted. "But I can't bring myself to. Not so soon after Mina..."

Her voice broke.

"Perhaps, you would find comfort in Jim's apartment?" Spock offered his suggestion.

"That's actually not a bad idea," Cordelia smiled softly. "Call me if anything changes?"

"Of course."

 **)-(**

Cordelia awoke a day later in James' bed feeling somewhat warmer inside. She couldn't count the endless amount of times they'd fallen asleep talking or watching TV, or simply listening to music while doing random activities like reading or studying. The bed in his apartment was almost as familiar as her own. Breathing in his scent, Cordelia instantly felt comforted. James was probably her closest friend; even more so than Ginger or Mina. They just understood each other so well. It was easy to be around him, almost...simple. Even being around his apartment made her feel like he was comforting her.

After she'd showered and changed clothes (Cordelia had spare necessities...even her own drawer), she went to a cafe on the opposite side of town. There, she drank coffee and had a comforting bowl of soup. It all made her feel much better.

Still harboring sadness, Cordelia returned to the hospital. Sulu was there, looking like he'd changed and showered as well. They both went to Ginger's room, where she slept soundly.

"Any change?" Cordelia asked softly.

"None," Sulu replied. "Well, her hand twitched and something happened to her breathing when I talked to her last night. Leonard said that was normal though."

"The others?"

"Uhura and Spock left a little after you did. Chekov waited until nightfall, and Christine stayed until she started falling asleep around three. I went home this morning and freshened up, then came back and had breakfast in the cafeteria. I've been here since."

"Any word from StarFleet?" Cordelia continued asking questions.

"Until the Enterprise is fixed, we've got nothing to do. We're all on grief leave, due to experiencing the horror that we did."

"Rebuild?"

"They're clearing out rubble, then they'll start reconstruction on headquarters. Once that, and a memorial, are built, we'll hold a ceremony to honor all lost."

Mina's lifeless eyes floated back into Cordelia's mind. She choked back the sudden grief and bit her lip. "Right. I'm just going to..."

Suddenly, Ginger's monitor went off. Cordelia jumped up and rushed forward, looking at it intently. Something was happening in Ginger's mind that was making her stress levels shoot up. "Leonard!"

"What's happening?" Sulu demanded as staff rushed in. "Is she alright?"

"We need to leave," Cordelia tugged his arm. "They can't do their job with us in the way."

Waiting was excruciating. Sulu paced, Cordelia waited in stillness, and they didn't speak. Standing with just a door separating them from Ginger felt like a taunt. Cordelia put her head in her hands and tried to focus on staying calm.

After what seemed like ages, the door was opened. Leonard stood there hesitantly. "She's awake, but I can only allow her emergency contact in the room right now...regulation."

Sulu cursed—Mina and Cordelia were her emergency contacts. "When can I see her?"

"When we're positive she's stable," Leanord squeezed the other man's shoulder. "Cordelia?"

She went into the room. Ginger lay on the bed, tears falling from her eyes. The two looked at each other for moments before Ginger let out a shaky sob and opened her arms. Cordelia easily slid onto the bed and embraced her friend, careful of her IV drip.

"Mina was meeting my class and me for lunch," Ginger croaked. "After it happened, I remember crawling to her through the cloud of dust. She was barely responding, and blood was coming from her head so—so fast. I-I tried to hold her, but she passed out right in front of me. The last thing I remember is her shuddering and then...nothing. I thought she may be sleeping, but she was so still, and I just fainted right there."

"Oh Ginge," Cordelia whispered. She held Ginger a little more securely. It seemed like they sat there awhile before Ginger was too tired to handle it.

"They told me about the baby," she whispered drowsily. "Tell Sulu I love him, and I can't...wait to...to have his...baby..."

Cordelia smiled softly and slid from the bed. She walked out in the hallway to find Sulu still pacing impatiently. When he saw her, he rushed forward in concern.

"She'll be alright, I think," Cordelia smiled encouragingly. "She wants me to tell you that she can't wait to have your baby."

The first true grin since he'd been there hit his face. It reached his eyes and crinkled the corners. "That's..that's amazing. When can I see her?"

"They'll keep her here for another day or so probably, before they move her to a recovery floor where people outside family can come see her. It's the same floor James is on."

"How is the captain doing?" Sulu inquired, looking guilty. "I haven't spoken to McCoy about him that much. The poor man comes up and down the hospital to make sure Ginger's okay."

"He says James will be alright," Cordelia assured him. "All you need to worry about is finding a beautiful ring."

His face drooped. "Right."

"You'll be fine, I promise," Cordelia laughed quietly. Things could get better, she knew they could. Mina may be gone, but they had a bright future looking out ahead of them, with a baby on the way and a marriage hopefully before.

Now, if only James would wake up…


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry about the delay!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek**

Cordelia sat at the foot of Ginger's bed, eating Chinese food from a take-out container with chopsticks. Ginger was clearly having difficulties.

"Why is this so hard?" Ginger groaned. "Who the hell eats rice with chopsticks?!"

"I don't—

"I want a fork."

"Which is why I brought one," Sulu chuckled as he walked in. "You ready to go home, babe?"

"Yes," she groaned. "My freaking paper work needs to get done and then we can go. I even got to change into human clothes, I'm not all hooked up to a bunch of crap, and I've signed everything. I want to leave." she paused briefly to huff in annoyance. Seeming satisfied with her short rant, she straightened her back. "But for now..."

"Your fork," he offered it with a grin. She accepted it with a kiss, digging in happily. The three chatted companionably while their other friends filed in, confusion crossing Ginger's eyes as they did. Cordelia hid her smile.

"What's going on, Hikaru?" Ginger eyed him suspiciously.

"Well," he gulped. "I've sort of been busy the past few weeks."

"Doing what exactly?"

Sulu reached into his deep pockets and pulled out a square jewelry box. "I wanted to celebrate the new addition to our family, so I bought you—us, something. Go on and open it."

Ginger did just that slowly. She lifted the lid of the box and grinned at the sight of a cute little key chain, with a simple silver key. "Is this what I think it is?"

"A house," Sulu nodded. "And...a future."

She looked even closer and gasped. Tied to it by a little string, a silver band hung from the key ring. It was an emerald cut diamond, two smaller diamonds set on either side of it. When she refocused her attention on Sulu, who knelt at her bedside, Ginger gasped. "I didn't expect..."

"I thought our friends should be present, to share this special moment," he cleared his throat. "Virginia Princeton, I love you. I don't want to marry you because of the baby, I want to marry you because of your southern charm and grace, your fantastical view of life, and because I could never be with another woman in my entire life if she wasn't you. Would you do the honor of becoming my wife?"

Ginger squealed and jumped from the hospital bed. Not caring that Leonard disapproved of too much excitement, she knocked her new fiancé to the ground in elation, all the while squealing that he was an idiot if even had to ask. The moment, which didn't seem like it could get better, was made better with the arrival of another friend.

Cordelia admired the scene with a trace of tears in her eyes (Mina should have been able to witness this) when she looked up and saw James watching from the doorway with a pleased smirk, Spock close behind him.

"James," she breathed lightly, her chest constricting at the sight of him pale, but awake. Sulu and Ginger scrambled up from the ground in surprise. "When did you wake up?"

"About an hour ago," he replied casually. "Bones didn't want me walking around, but Spock helped me out."

"You broke the rules?" Uhura grinned at her boyfriend.

"The Captain wished to witness the event with the rest of us," Spock replied. His lips quirked, so fast you would've missed it if you blinked. "I followed the orders of my captain and assisted him."

"I'm really happy for you, Sulu," James clapped the man on the soldier. "You too, Ginge. You'll be the hottest pregnant chick ever."

"Thanks," she rolled her eyes dryly, still clearly pleased.

"And as happy as I am though, I really need to go to sleep," he said with a strange look. "I'm wiped out. Spock?"

"Here, Captain."

Discreetly as she could, Cordelia followed the pair out of the room. She swiftly eased herself beside James and lifted one of his arms around her shoulders to support him the same way Spock was. A grin lit his face. "Cordie, my girl."

"Hey," she said softly. "How do you feel?"

"Tired, but better," he replied. Something in his eyes flickered. "Cordelia, I'm sorry I dropped that bomb about going rogue on you right before I let. It wasn't right."

"No worries," she assured him. "I'm just glad you're alive and that you did the right thing in the end."

"I'm going home tonight," he grinned. "Someone told me you'll be there."

"Yes," she blushed. "I've been staying there because I can't go back to the apartment."

"Mina," he said in understanding. "That doesn't matter much. I'll rest up and then we can go home. I've missed having a girl who snuggles around."

Cordelia chuckled and smiled at him shyly. "You are quite full of yourself. I missed that."

"Unsurprising," he wiggled his eyebrows as they entered the hospital room. "I need a nap before I go home. Stay?"

"Of course," she replied. While she and Spock helped him into bed, Cordelia felt a tingling sensation at how he said they would go home. It probably meant nothing. Yet, she couldn't help but wonder at the wording.

 _We can go home_.

Oddly enough, she already felt at home.

"You should just stay at my place for a while," James muttered sleepily. "It's where you belong, you know? With me."

"Go to sleep, James," she whispered. "I'll be here when you wake up."

"You always are," he grinned, before his mouth dropped and his breath evened. Cordelia squeezed his hand affectionately. She'd missed his smile and his cocky nature. It was what she needed to feel like herself a little more. Her world was turning upside down, but James was still the same as ever. That she could count on.

 **)-(**

Cordelia watched James stagger to the couch with a laugh. "You should have let Leonard or Spock bring you home."

"I haven't slept in my own bed in two weeks," he said stiffly. "I want to watch movies and eat cheap food before I have to write my report."

"Cheeseburgers?"

"All the way."

She chuckled and reached for the PADD sitting on the counter. There was a burger joint down the street he liked, so she opted for that. From the couch, he flipped on the TV and began flicking through channels.

"You've been watching a lot of chick flicks," he smirked. "Romantic comedies seem to be your specialty."

"I like them," she said simply. "And there are some adventure flicks, thank you very much."

"I see _one_."

"Do you want your burger or not?"

"I think chick flicks are fun," he winked.

"I think I liked you better when you were asleep, you know that?"

"I like the saucy side of you."

"I only have it around you."

"I bring out the best in people."

They shared a familiar smile. This was their routine, what they did well. James flirted, she brushed it off as a joke, and they hardly strayed. There were times when she flirted back, but it was rare. Cordelia wasn't a professional flirt like James, so she never wanted to make that awkward effort. She liked them the way they were.

At least, sort of. She wished James would stop being a flirt and maybe make a serious move of commitment, but she didn't feel right wanting him to do something she couldn't do either. Courage wasn't her strong suit—it was James'.

"You take such good care of me," he said when she curled herself up on the couch. "How would I have survived school? Life?"

"I don't know," she blushed. "But I wouldn't have survived without you making me take breaks so often either. I needed the relaxation."

"I'm glad I could help," he grinned. "I love corrupting people."

"I don't know if you've corrupted me exactly..."

"Embrace the corruption," he poked her in the side, causing her to fidget and laugh. He got a smug look on his face and placed his arms behind his head. As they watched TV in silence, Cordelia snuck glances at him. Almost the entire time, his eyes seemed to appraise her and make her feel nervous. Sometimes he did this before he spilled his heart about something bothering him.

Sure enough, it wasn't long before James turned the volume down and fiddled with his hands.

"There was a moment," when he spoke, Cordelia could barely hear him. "When I was running to help Chekov stabilize the ship, I saw people in my crew die. I watched them fall to their deaths, Cor. That's why I did what I did, you know? That's why I had to fix the ship and I didn't care if I died."

"Spock told me everything," she assured him. "Then the others told me the story again. You sacrificed yourself for your ship."

"I just couldn't watch them die anymore," he said. "How many families were ruined? Because of this damned mission, Mina..."

"Kahn would have attacked StarFleet either way," she cut him off, something she rarely did. "You are not to blame for Mina's death."

"Then why do I feel so guilty?" he looked at her with tears in his eyes.

"Because, you're thankful that you're alive," she answered for him, scooting closer to wipe his tears away. "You came back from being barely dead, and you're glad you have a second chance, even when you know that Mina didn't, and that's what makes you feel guilty."

James drew her near so that she rested in his lap, pulling her as close as he could manage. She ran her fingers through his hair. It wasn't hard to give him comfort. Cordelia simply held him and soothed him, even though he wasn't crying. For once, James wasn't being dramatic.

Sometimes, you just needed a hug.

"Thanks, Cordie," he murmured. They were still in each other's arms when Cordelia's personal PADD informed her she was receiving a call. Confused, she hurried to it and pressed the answer. She was met with the sight of her captain.

"Captain Darvis!" she exclaimed. "I was under the impression..."

"You are still on leave of grief, yes," the man brushed it aside. "I wanted to thank you for your honorable actions the day Kahn attacked StarFleet. You saved many lives and took charge as a true member of StarFleet should. Many important men will remember your face caring for them, and officials were impressed with your leadership abilities."

"It was no matter, Captain," she blushed, avoiding James' impressed stare. "Anyone would have done the same if I had given them the chance."

"That attitude is exactly why you will be awarded in the ceremony where we honor those we lost," Darvis smiled. "You have honored us, so we will honor you."

"Is...is anyone else being..."

"Commander Spock will be awarded as well," he said. "For capturing Kahn."

"I don't believe this," Cordelia said. "Thank you, sir."

"I would also like to approach the idea of a transfer."

"I don't understand, Captain," Cordelia frowned. "If I'm being awarded, why do you want to move me?"

"You've proven your worth," he smiled. "You're far beyond the _Farragut_ now, and you deserve to be with the best. The _Enterprise_ is the ship for the best of the best. You wouldn't be the head nurse, I believe you're friends with the head nurse there, but you would be respected and a candidate for the best exploration. You should be there, Nurse Jennings."

"I-I would be honored," she stammered out.

"I'll talk to the Captain of the _Enterprise_ and a few more officials to discuss it," Darvis told her. "Until then, mourn. You can't grieve forever, though, remember that."

"Until then, Captain."

"Not your captain for long, Jennings."

When she set her PADD aside, Cordelia saw James grinning like a child from the couch. She blushed and walked smoothly back over to him. "I can't believe this."

"You're amazing, it's about time you're finally recognized for it," James said, opening his arms to her again. "And I told you I would somehow get you on my ship."

"Imagine that," she smiled. "All we need is Ginger and we're all there."

"Because of her and Sulu getting married, she'll be on the ship either way. We'll be...complete."

"Yeah," Cordelia settled into his embrace, which felt more intimate than before. "Complete."


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry about the wait, it's been a crazy few days! Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek**

Cordelia was experiencing jealousy.

"What's her name again?" she asked James, trying to appear casual. They were in his room while she read a book and he tapped away on his PADD. Surprisingly he was doing something productive, searching for new crew members by looking at their files.

"Carol Marcus," he sighed. "Her dad was the one who tried to orchestrate multiple deaths by the hands on Kahn."

"Oh," she didn't look up from the book. "Why are you going to a meeting about her?"

"They're deciding if they're going to trust her," James said casually. "Since she snuck on the Enterprise and hacked into its database. Due to it being my ship, I have to be present to offer my opinion. You know how much I love offering my opinion."

She now looked up to examine his casual features. "What will you say?"

"That she's a genius, who shouldn't be judged for her father's actions, and that I would be honored to have her on the ship. She would be good to have on the five year mission."

"You seem so sure that they'll give you the mission."

"I am in complete confidence." James grinned widely, looking up. "Why do you look like that? Is something wrong?"

"Nothing," she answered smoothly. "I'm just feeling tired, so I may head home."

"You _are_ home," James said that it was no big thing. "And you're not alright. That little brush off would've worked on someone else, but not me, so talk."

"What happened to not pushing me?"

"I got bored."

"A character trait of yours."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he looked taken aback. "Are you trying to say something, Cor? Or are you just jealous?"

"Jealous of what?"

"Carol!"

"No," she scoffed. "Why would I be jealous of your interest in another girl? And I wasn't implying anything—

"Them what did that jab at my personality mean?"

"Nothing, Kirk!" she snapped, standing up. Grabbing her book, she quickly found her shoes. "Forget it. I need to go home—to my home."

The last three words made James jerk back like he'd been stung. "You called me Kirk."

"Look, I'm just tired," Cordelia sighed. "I'll talk to you later."

He didn't say anything else, so she left the room. The apartment that normally made her feel so safe suddenly felt like a reminder of all the girls James had taken into it, slept with, and gotten bored with a few days later. It was his routine; find slutty girls he liked to have around for a few days, get done with them, and then find new ones. She knew that it was a cover up. Above anyone else, she knew how his heart and mind worked, and she accepted that. She understood it.

Now though, her heart ached at the understanding. She wanted him, yes, but she wanted to be the only one he wanted. She just didn't know if that would ever happen.

Standing outside the door, Cordelia felt tears spring her eyes. She clutched at the book in her hands like it could control her emotions.

 _Be like Spock_ , she thought. _Control. Don't stop feeling, just...control_.

 _Control_.

 **)-(**

That night, Cordelia got the official call informing her that she would be reassigned to the Enterprise. She wondered if she even wanted to go now, reminded of the possibility of Carol Marcus being assigned there as well. Could she deal with that?

 _"You're being highly illogical," her Spock voice demanded to be heard, popping up in the back of her heaad. "Officer Marcus' presence should not affect your career."_

 _"But I can't stand the sight of her..." Cordelia's irrational voice replied._

 _"You've never seen her, how could you have experienced distaste upon sight with your first meeting?"_

 _"Because James likes her."_

 _"Do you know that for sure?"_

 _"I just have a feeling—"_

 _"Truly, that is very little to go on."_

"Shut up, Spock!" she snapped out loud. Realizing her mistake, Cordelia bit her lip and looked down with a blush. Ginger and Uhura were visiting Cordelia and Christine that night for dinner, so the two guests, as well as Christine, were shocked out her outburst from the kitchen.

"Should I be concerned?" Uhura asked slowly from her spot at the table. She eyed Cordelia with loving concern. "It's not every day you hear your best friend yell at your boyfriend...who isn't here."

"I..." Cordelia guessed the truth would be better. She finished refilling her wine glass and sat back at the table. "I have this voice inside my head, like my conscience, which tells me when I'm being irrational. I call it my Spock voice, because it says these he would say."

"That's a little strange," Ginger said kindly. "But I know for a fact that McCoy and Jim also have what they call a Spock voice."

"I definitely have one," Unura grinned.

"Does it actually sound like him?" Christine teased. "When you hear it in your head?"

"Yes," Uhura and Cordelia answered at the same time. The other two laughed, making the mood lighten a little.

That was sadly disrupted by Ginger narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "What is our dear Spock advising you about?"

"Jealousy," Cordelia admitted, looking down again. "I...I don't like that James seems to like this Carol Marcus chick."

"Oh honey," Christine shook her head, a small giggle leaving her lip.

"Don't laugh at me!" Cordelia exclaimed. This only proved to make the three other girls laugh out loud. "You know, this is why I don't tell you people things."

"Sweetie, it's just that McCoy is the one who likes Carol," Uhura explained. "Not Jim."

"And Carol totally falls for his southern drawl," Christine pointed out.

"She's so young though," Cordelia frowned.

"She's thirty, Delia," Christine corrected. "I saw her medical files. That isn't much younger than McCoy."

"But James got defensive," Cordelia frowned. "He asked if I was jealous."

"Which you were, by the way," Ginger shook her head. "But Jim probably just wanted to see how you felt about it, or if that crush you used to have in him had grown. His crush on you certainly has."

"Sometimes I think so," Cordelia muttered. "Other times, I feel like he's the exact same person he's always been."

"But you've always known who he is," Uhura interjected. "And you've always loved him for it."

"Love is a bit much."

"Is it, really?"

Cordelia closed her mouth, silencing her own protest. "Maybe not."

"I'm not pressuring you into telling him," Ginger chose her words carefully. "But don't get upset with him because you haven't been able to express your feelings properly. That's not really fair."

"I know," Cordelia groaned, putting her head in her hands. "That's what mind-Spock keeps saying."

"Have you tried talking to the real Spock?" Ginger suggested. "He knows Jim almost as well as you and McCoy do."

"And?"

"Maybe he can offer insight," Ginger shrugged.

Cordelia sat back in her seat and nibbled her lip. Maybe Spock was exactly the person she needed to talk to.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

It wasn't exactly unusual for Cordelia to come across Spock's office. When she'd been a cadet, she interned under him while thinking she wanted to be a science officer. It wasn't until the Vulcan had accidentally started a fire and injured himself, and Cordelia had to care for him that she realized she wanted to do just that; care for people.

"Nurse Jennings," Spock said upon her entering. He was with a student. "If you could wait a moment, I will attend to you."

"Of course," Cordelia nodded professionally. She waited until the young man left the room before sitting herself in one of the chairs across from Spock's desk.

"What may I help you with, Cordelia?" Spock asked earnestly, hands folded on his desk.

"I'm not entirely sure," she admitted. "It's just that you are incredibly perceptive and you generally seem to know what people think."

"I have been attempting to better learn how feelings are shown by subtle reactions and physical ticks," he replied in affirmation. "What is it you think I've seen?"

"I know I'm jealous of Carol Marcus and James' praise of her," Cordelia fidgeted. It wasn't that she hated admitting her wrongs, she hated even _doing_ something wrong in the first place. "I also know that I'm...in love with him. I just don't know what made me react the way I did. He was talking about her being brilliant and needed on the Enterprise, and I just...I wanted to tell him that I was amazing for him, and I could be brilliant if I needed to be. But I couldn't. Instead, I snapped at him about being a flirt and stomped out."

"I may be wrong," Spock said slowly. "I believe, however, that you felt anger at yourself for not being able to speak up. You were jealous of Officer Marcus, yes, but you were angrier with yourself for not being able to say anything, so you lashed out."

Cordelia leaned back in her seat. It made sense. The inner conflict she'd been having in the back of her mind, nagging at her to buck up the guts, made her realize that maybe she had directed her anger at James because it was easier.

"Thank you, Commander," Cordelia said formally. "You've been most informative."

Cordelia saw the corner of Spock's mouth twitch in amusement. "I'm pleased I could be of assistance, Nurse Jennings."

She nodded and swiftly left the room. It seemed like Cordelia couldn't get her thoughts together, like she needed...really needed...

 _Yoga pants._

As always, yoga helped her relax.

Yoga in the park was even better. It was a sunny day, so the city was shining and clear. Cordelia was able to find a spot under a tree and set out her yoga mat. The gentle breeze brushing her face and happy sounds that normally filled the park made her feel pleasantly cliché. It allowed her to focus her mind.

"I figured I could find you here," a voice said from beside her.

Cordelia kept her eyes closed. "I was planning to come over when I finished."

"Oh," he shuffled. "I'm sorry to interrupt."

"Really?" at this, Cordelia did open her eyes. She looked at James, standing in his casual clothes, leaning against a tree. "You normally love interrupting my yoga time."

"I don't want to upset you like I did yesterday," James said evenly. He seemed wary of her, as he should be. She'd had a few uncharacteristic outbursts lately.

"About that," Cordelia straightened up, clasping her hands together. "You didn't do anything wrong. It was my fault for being rude and stand-offish, and I'm really sorry about that. Forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive," James brushed it off, stepping forward. "I just want to know what's going on with you. I know you're a quiet person, but you always tell me when something's going on. What's different about this?"

"Nothing is," she admitted. "To be truthful, I was jealous."

"Of Carol?"

She nodded. "I didn't like that she kept popping up in conversation, and that you spoke so highly of her. You don't talk like that about girls, except for me. I'm supposed to be the only one you talk about. It was so petty and incredibly selfish, and I am so sorry for that Jamie."

"Don't be sorry," he chuckled. Slowly, he reached out a hand. When she complied, James tugged her closer and pressed a kiss to her forehead, then hugged her closely. "You will always be the most special girl in my life."

"You're not mad that I'm being...well, a bitch?"

"I was," he said earnestly. "But I have to say, hearing you admit you were jealous and that you overreacted made me feel way better. It was selfish, but I'm selfish too, so I can't be a hypocrite, can I?"

If there was anything James hated, it was a hypocrite.

"Thank you, James," she whispered lightly.

"You're welcome," he replied. James pulled back, a grin on his face. "Now, come on!"

"What?"

He flashed her a grin. "You're my date to Sulu and Ginger's wedding shower, obviously. We gotta go get ready!"

"James, I need to go home to do that."

"We'll stop there. You're hanging out at my place the rest of the afternoon."

 **)-(**

"How did you Get Scotty out of the engine rooms?"

"I brought him a sandwich."

She smiled. "I'm guessing he then remembered the friends he has here, all of which are concerned for his health?"

"You got it." James grinned, stretching out lazily on the bed. "Sulu and I took him back to the apartment, got him a scotch, made sure he cleaned himself up, and he's doing better. He's still sad about Mina, clearly, but the intense grieving is over I think."

"That's good," Cordelia began brushing her hair. "I can't imagine losing someone who was like a daughter to me."

"You should've told me you were packing up your old apartment the other day," he went on. "I would've helped."

"I'm fine now," she told him. "Mina's room is done, so the hard part is over. We finished cleaning out the rest of our things yesterday. I'm fully moved into Christine's, and Ginger is fully moved into the house Sulu bought."

"How did Ginger do with packing up Mina's things?"

Cordelia shot him a look.

"Pregnancy hormones, right," he shook his head. James looked at her oddly as she continued brushing her hair. "Is there anything you'd like to say, Cordelia?"

Cordelia's stomach flipped when he said her name. The more time she spent with him, the more she desired to tell him how she really felt and how they were perfect for each other. Spock was right—she was angry with herself.

"No," she replied softly, going back to her task. "My mind's just busy."

"Come on, Cordie," James pouted. "We just got over this hiding stuff like an hour ago. Tell me."

"I don't have anything to say." If possible, her voice lowered. "It's really nothing important."

"Cordelia, your feelings are important," he rolled his eyes like she was the silliest thing. "Whoever told you they weren't is ridiculous."

"I..." she trailed off, finally looking up into his blue eyes—the eyes that captivated her from the moment they met. Her heart skipped a beat.

 _I love you._

"I just miss Mina is all," Cordelia said. "I had to go to Spock for advice, and I normally go to Mina. It was upsetting."

James loped over to her. It felt natural when he put his chin on her head and his arms around hers. He stood close to Cordelia, eyes filled with warmth. "We all miss her, Cordelia, and it's alright to miss her. We just have to live life the way she would want us to."

"You're right," she smiled softly. Looking up at him, she felt a true smile spread across her cheeks. "Mina would want you to shave, so you have to shave."

"You don't like my beard?"

"That is hardly a beard, and it scratches my temple when you hug me."

He laughed, pulling her up to stand with him. "Fine. But before I do..."

He leaned down and rubbed his cheek against hers. She squealed and ran from his arms, leading him to repeat the action multiple times. Each time, she felt the scratch of his prickly beard. She was sure her cheek was red by now. It was fun though, probably the most fun they'd had since he'd come home from the hospital. The weeks before were relaxing and nice, but this made it feel as if things were going back to normal.

When they collapsed onto the couch, Cordelia was laying across his chest. James' face was inches from hers, and they both silenced their laughter almost instantaneously. A small smile still lit his face, but it seemed much more serious.

"I've missed you since you moved in with Christine," he said sincerely, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "It isn't the same with you gone."

"We'll still hang out," she promised. "But we're getting a little old for sleepovers, don't you think?"

"Adult versions of sleepovers could be fun," he winked.

Cordelia's heart sank. Did he think only of sex? She was worried that if she braved enough to admit she had feelings for him, would she be able to also add that his loose way with women made her even more hesitant? She knew he longed for something meaningful! Why couldn't he just show her he could be serious so she could open her heart?

"True," she responded simply, not voicing any of these thoughts. "But don't think about that now. You need to shave and shower, then get dressed! We have a party to attend."

She slid off of him, acknowledging him with a gentle look. He stood and squeezed her hand sweetly before swaggering off to the shower. A bit of sadness floated into her heart, but she pushed it away.

"Get a grip on yourself, Cordelia," she muttered.

That was easy to _say_. As she fixed her hair in the bedroom, however, her face flushed and her head spun because he left the shower room in only a towel. She briefly wondered if he was trying to seduce her. It was torture, and she had to turn away to not think about his muscles dripping with water. It was almost as bad as their morning runs, when he wouldn't where his shirt.

She had to leave the room.

"Pink or blue shirt?" he called to her.

She thought about the way his eyes looked when he wore each color. "Blue!"

She looked briefly in the mirror that hung in the entry way. Her curled red hair was piled on her head, and she wore a simple, plum colored sundress. Feeling relaxed and pretty, Cordelia turned away. Moments later, James emerged in dark jeans, with blue button down shirt tucked in and belted. His hair was tousled, something quickly fixed by gel and Cordelia's hands.

They looked like quite the pair, she thought.

The house warming party for the newly engaged couple was supposed to mix as a wedding shower, so she and James had pitched in to buy Ginger and Sulu a set of kitchen appliances. They had wrapped the delivery ticket so the couple knew when it would all be coming. James had also insisted on a particularly expensive bottle of champagne, which had a blue bow tied to it.

James grabbed the bottle and pecked her cheek. "You look amazing."

"Thank you," Cordelia blushed. She was surprised to see him so...domestic. "I was right about the blue."

"I look amazing, don't I?" James grinned. She rolled her eyes and headed for the door. "What? Something in my teeth?"

"You look perfectly handsome, James," she giggled. "Except...I think you forgot to zip up your pants."

"What?" he looked down stupidly. Finding himself perfectly intact, James grabbed her waist and pulled her along. "That was clever, you pulled a 'me' move."

"I learn from the best."

"You got that right," James smirked. Cordelia laughed as he tugged her with him, feeling that sense of ease again. Things with James were only getting better, and she hoped that she would work up some courage at some point.

How could she be mad at anyone but herself if she never made a move?


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys! Sorry about the wait, school has been a little crazy. This will be the last chapter, and next is the epilogue. I hope you've enjoyed this short little story, thank you for the follows and the positive reviews.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek**

Nothing makes your day like family does, except family itself.

Cordelia had resumed working at the hospital for about a month, and was picking up hours relentlessly. Though she had other minor responsibilities, she returned to work with a vigorous attentiveness that rivaled Spock's. It gave her a sense of purpose as her life regained full order. This was welcome, since in another three months she'd begin the five year mission with the Enterprise.

Of course, James had gotten exactly what he wanted. He too was working extremely hard to get his new crew together, intently doing background checks and interviews conducted by himself and Spock. He had the entire crew understand that all credentials were to be up to date, and any certifications needed to be redone. In a sense, he wanted his ship and crew perfect; physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Though she rarely got to see him, they did make time for each other. They had late night movies over tea and cake, early breakfasts, and sometimes enjoyed lunch breaks and even yoga (James was attempting to learn). Cordelia kept her feelings down verbally, but began to show subtle signs of affection and gauge James's reactions. He seemed to acknowledge her signs, welcome them even, and it began to give her even more courage. She even thought he may be giving her subtle signs; kissing her forehead and temple more often, holding her hand for extended periods of time, even attempting to _cook_ for her once!

It gave her hope.

One day after work, Cordelia came into her apartment, completely exhausted. She'd lost a baby patient that evening, and it had broken her heart to see a mother and father cry over their child. Something in her was unbelievably moved by it, to the point of emotionally draining her.

"Chris!" Cordelia called for her roommate as she walked in. "Do we have any scotch?"

"Would brandy be alright?"

Cordelia frowned at the familiar voice. It couldn't be...

"Mom!" she exclaimed when the woman rounded the corner. "What are you doing here?"

The two embraced warmly. "We all thought we would visit and check up on you."

"All?" Cordelia gasped. She rushed into the living room like a little girl and found her father and brothers waiting patiently with Christine. She squealed when her brothers hopped up to hug her. "Hey boys!"

"How's it going, little sis?" Niklaus, the oldest, said. "We've missed having you bother us."

"I've missed bothering you," she chuckled. "How's the family?"

"Jemma and Hermione are as bad as ever," Frederick, the middle child, grinned widely. "When I come over to visit Nik and Amanda, they've already got pranks prepared. The poor girls got all Nik and none of anyone else from the family. Mischievous little girls."

"Pierce asks for you consistently," Niklaus shook his head. "Amanda's at home with them all right now, she sends her love."

"I'll make sure to call her tomorrow," Cordelia smiled. She turned to other brother. "You graduate StarFleet from New York next month, right? I think I already have the date in my calendar."

"I do," Frederick stuck his chest out proudly. "Mom's glad I've finally done something with my life, and even more so that it has to do with StarFleet."

"Oh hush," the woman in question waved him off. "Cordelia, say hello to your father."

Cordelia stepped up to the older man, her heart warming. She loved getting hugs from her father. It never failed that she felt protected and loved in his arms, just as a hug should make you feel.

"I will never stop missing you, you know that girly?" he said with a hint of laughter in his voice. "But I am so proud of you and everything you're accomplishing."

"Daddy," Cordelia blushed. "Stop it with the flattery, I won't be able to handle it."

"Can't help it," was all he said.

They sat down around the living room, chatting aimlessly about their lives. Christine had always been fond of Cordelia's family so she fit right in. (Frederick especially seemed to like her.)

"So, Fred, what are your plans for after graduation?" Christine asked casually.

"I was thinking of moving to San Francisco, actually," he replied. "I thought it would be nice to settle near Cordelia."

Cordelia shifted at the mention of settling near her. How could her brother do that when she wouldn't be there? "There's actually something I need to talk to you all about."

"Is everything okay?" her father frowned.

"Everything is fine," she promised. "I'm getting an amazing opportunity."

"From StarFleet?"

"Yes," she gulped. "I've been reassigned to the Enterprise."

Frederick's smile melted into to understanding. "Oh."

"Oh?" her mother looked between the two. "What is ' _oh?_ '"

"That's the ship being given five years of exploration," Frederick explained. "We'll still hold communication, obviously, but she'll be off earth for a full five years unless something goes wrong."

"Does this have anything to do with that boy you like so much?" her father frowned. "Going into space with him and all? He's the captain of the Enterprise, isn't he?"

"No, Dad," she promised. "My captain from the USS Farragut told me that my leadership abilities and talent for my field say that I should be on the ship meant for Starfleet's best and brightest. I'll get my recognition, and then the two weeks following that I'm supposed to leave."

"When were you going to tell us?" Niklaus asked.

"When I came home for Frederick's graduation," Cordelia looked down. "Are you mad?"

"The exact opposite, darling," her father told her. "We are immensely proud of you."

Cordelia sent a thankful smile their way. She looked to Christine, who smiled widely and spoke up. "Cordelia is going to be my partner on the Enterprise. When we take off, we'll share the title of head nurses."

"Is that how it normally goes?" Niklaus seemed confused. He was never too sure of StarFleet ways.

"No," Cordelia chuckled. "Christine's just an amazing friend and very persuasive."

They moved on in conversation, deciding to eat dinner. Christine and Cordelia cooked a large meal that was enjoyed over a lot of laughter and wine. Cordelia watched the interaction between her parents the entire time, noticing the way they touched and spoke to each other. She saw similarities in her own interactions with James. It seemed to solidify her thoughts on how right they seemed together. Did people see with her and James what she saw in her parents?

Halfway through chocolate cake, the doorbell rang. Cordelia frowned, not expecting anyone. "Christine, did you invite someone else over?"

"No," Christine said. "You?"

"Nope." Cordelia stood from the table warily. "I'll be right back." she walked to the door, aware of where her and Christine's phaser sat hidden (Scotty had been concerned for his "adoptive family's safety" and made sure they were all protected with multiple weapons). There was no need for it, however, as James awaited on the other side, a bouquet of wildflowers in his hands.

At the sight of her, he grinned widely. "Hey gorgeous."

"Hey," Cordelia said, feeling shy. She still wore her blue work pants and a white, short sleeved under shirt, and her hair was falling down her back in a mess. "What brings you here?"

"I haven't got to see you much this week," he shrugged. A strange look passed over his eyes for a moment, but it was gone when he blinked. "I missed you, that's all. I was wondering if you wanted to just hang out, here or at home?"

"I'd love to," she said earnestly. He started to smile again, but she cut him off. "It's just that if we did..."

"Cordie?" James frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Well, my family is here, and you'd have to hang out with them while we drink and eat dessert," she blurted. "They also know I'm basically in love with you, and—dammit!"

Cordelia clapped her hands over her mouth. The man before her seemed shocked, blinking slowly. "You love me?"

"I've had too much to drink," she groaned. "I was going to tell you that when the time was perfect, when I actually got the courage to make a move or if we ever got in a relationship...not like this."

Why was this happening to her?! She probably sounded like a bumbling idiot.

"Cordie, hush," James said childishly. He held out a hand to her, which she hesitantly took. Tugging her closer, he used that same hand to tuck her hair behind her ear while presenting the flowers to her. "I didn't bring these flowers because I think you're a good friend. Spock says that it could show romantic affection."

"Spock?"

"He's really been studying human behavior."

"Ahh."

James chuckled. "I got these because I wanted to show my affection, but I know you don't like roses because they're so standard that they have little meaning. Instead, I got you a mix, to show that even though I'm a bunch of different crazy, slightly unorganized things, my purpose here tonight is to show you that I love you too."

"That was cheesy," she said softy. "And not very well thought out."

"I figured I shouldn't use my usual charms on you," he whispered. "This is more special, I think."

She giggled lightly. "It's perfect, these are perfect..."

"We are perfect," he finished. "Everything about the way we work, it's so simple. I'm sorry there's been no epic journey, no crazy love games, but I think we're perfect the way we are."

"Oh James," she sighed, taking the flowers. Cordelia wrapped her arms around his neck, melting into his strong arms for a hug. "I don't need any of that. I just need you."

He pulled back from the hug, lips moving towards hers. "Cordelia..."

The pleasant shiver that ran up her spine was subdued by the sound of her brother's voice. "Delia, is everything alright?"

"Yes!" she called back. "Everything is perfect!"

As James captured her lips in a sweet, slow kiss, she felt her heart positively burst with joy. Yes, indeed; everything was perfect.


	10. Chapter 10

**I apologize for my absence. My computer got malware on it and I haven't add access to another one to use for Fanfiction, as my fanfiction world is a secret…tehe. I finally am able to use someone else's computer.**

 **Anyhoo, here is the epilogue that completes the story. Kirk might be a little OOC in this chapter, but I hope it fits enough and doesn't turn you away. Enjoy, and thank you so much for those who have read, followed, and reviewed. Love to you all!**

 **Side note…in case you were wondering, the 'Mina' in this chapter is Sulu and Ginger's daughter, who would be about two in this chapter. It's not very clear when Kirk mentions her, so I just wanted to throw that out there.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek**

Kirk found it funny that he always seemed to think so much when he first woke up. It was a time of reflection for him, a time where he could think about fixing problems or when he could smile at memories. This was one of those times he couldn't wipe a smile off of his face.

Looking down, his heart constricted wonderfully at how beautiful his wife was. She lay against his bare chest, one of hands curled into a fist beneath her ear, her other arm draped across his torso. The red waves he loved so much fell down her back, looking disarrayed, but still soft to touch. She was a little small, but it made him feel like a protector while holding her, so he didn't mind.

He still couldn't believe they were married. First, they had stopped on a very populated planet for resupply, where Kirk got Ginger's help finding a ring. He had proposed that night. Thankfully (it saved him a ton of embarrassment) Cordelia had said yes.

Second, they'd come across a solid planet. Upon landing, they found a small, completely forested planet with jet black dirt, just as black trees, white sanded beaches, turquoise waters, and a pink toned sky. The whole thing had been so ridiculous that Kirk demanded they get married then and there, rather than wait the three more years before they would get home.

"My parents would have a fit!" Cordelia had argued (she was part of the exploration party—as if Kirk would leave her behind). "We can't get married here."

"Frederick can walk you down the aisle," Kirk had grinned. "Spock can officiate, little Mina can be the flower girl...it'll be simple, but special to us. Look at this ocean, look at these skies! It's bizarre, it's spontaneous, and it's _beautiful_! We can have a ceremony when we get back home to satisfy your mother."

Cordelia bit her lip. "You really want to marry me this evening?"

"More than anything," he said as sincerely as he could manage. With his thumb, he smoothed the wrinkled expression from her forehead and then leaned in to kiss her. "I don't want to wait three years. I love you, and I want to truly be with you. Right now."

"Okay," Cordelia said slowly. She began to smile and threw her arms around him in a passionate kiss. "I love you too. We'll get married. Today."

It felt like millions of days had passed (in what was really only about three hours) before Kirk was standing at a makeshift altar. He watched with a warm feeling in his bones as Cordelia walked down the beach in a white, floor length sundress on her brother's arm. The aisle was created by the space between the entire crew of the Enterprise, who loved their Captain and cherished Nurse Cordelia.

"Hey," she said when she met him at the front.

"Hey," he grinned at her. "You look beautiful."

"And you are unbelievably handsome," she smoothed down the collar of his official StarFleet uniform. "You look spectacular in grey."

He chuckled. "Spock?"

Spock straightened his spine. "We gather on this beach this evening to honor Captain James Tiberius Kirk and Nurse Cordelia Jennings in a union of..."

After the ceremony, they had returned to the Enterprise to discover Uhura and Ginger made the dining hall into a reception room. Cordelia had of course squealed and jumped at her friends in delighted surprise. Kirk then danced for the first time with Cordelia as his wife.

Wife.

 _Wife._

The word sent a warm hum down Kirk's back. For twenty four hours he had been getting romantic, fuzzy feelings at the word, or any time he looked at Cordelia. He'd finally realized who the right girl for him was. She wasn't overly spunky and sassy. She wasn't curvy and blonde, with blue eyes the same shade as him. She wasn't just as flighty as he was in bed. She was definitely nothing like his mother.

Cordelia was quiet and loving. She was small, with deep, copper colored curls and green eyes. She was sincere and emotional, and only looked for committed relationships. She wasn't perfect, but she was perfect for him.

"What are you looking at?" Cordelia murmured from her spot on his chest. She stretched like a cat. "You've been staring at me for five minutes."

Kirk shrugged. He couldn't find the words. Cordelia leaned a hand up and brushed something from his cheek. "James, why are you crying? Has something happened?"

"No," he whispered. He hadn't realized tears were in his eyes because he could see her so clearly. "I waited my whole life for you, for someone who understood me so completely and loved me anyways. I waited to find that woman who could make me realize all I wanted was to be a part of something special. Look at me now. I'm captain of the best ship in the fleet, and I'm married to the best woman in the world. Cordelia...I can't find the words to tell you how much I love you. I just..."

"Come here," Cordelia whispered. They wrapped themselves around each other in an intimate embrace. He held her close, stroking her hair and pressing gentle kisses to her temple and cheek.

"I love you," he whispered. "And I will never stop loving you."

"Good," she replied. "Because I won't let you."

James pressed a button beside the bed, and a screen pulled back to give them a view of space, the endless amount of stars right before their eyes. They laid together then, not needing words as they looked out the large window and took in space, where their adventures and life lay ahead.

"What are you thinking about?" Kirk whispered to her after a while.

She turned and looked up at him. "How I've always wondered what home meant to me, what it meant to you, and how now I get it. Home isn't about where you are, it's about who you have with you. Here, with you, I'm home."

Kirk felt himself grin widely. He kissed her. Home had nothing to do with the Enterprise, or earth, or space. It was all about each other.

"That's right," he whispered. "We've found our home."


End file.
